Prepare, record and upload a 10-15 minute Role Play which illustrates
the type of therapy you would use with John and Carla. Please
assume this is your first session with this couple. Think about
demonstrating:
Good couples therapy
How John and Carla would act given the characteristics and
qualities that you know about them.
Interventions that you might use to show how you would
address their issues in this “mock” therapy session from what
you have learned up until (or including if you wish) week 4.
You must specifically pay close attention to issues related to
interracial, intercultural, and immigration aspects and discuss
how this may impact dynamics of the couples relationship and
therapy.
- A written 4-6 page Essay with a Title Page (not counted as a
Page). You should use a minimum of 3-4 sources from the
course in your Case Assignment.
Use the Case of John and Carla to explain how you can help
this couple to avoid ‘bad couple’s therapy,’ per Dr. Doherty,
and how the couple would fare in Dr. Gottman’s Love Lab.
Assess your patients in terms of what you will have learned in
the course up until Week 4. You also will need to pay close
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attention to the topic of interracial and intercultural aspects
and how this may impact presenting issues and therapy.
The Case Assignment will be due at the end of
Week 4.
COUPLES COUNSELING – CASE EXAMPLE
John and Carla: A Case Example
John and Carla have been married for 7 years. They have two children,
aged 5 and 3. John is a computer technician and Carla has been a
homemaker since the birth of their first child. They live in a nice
neighborhood in one of the suburbs of a big city in Canada.
John and Carla when she travelled to Canada while on a vacation from
Latin America. She had been traveling with a group of friends but
upon meeting John, she ended up spending much of her remaining
vacation with him. They maintained a long distance relationship and
after 6 months they decided that Carla would immigrate to Canada and
that they would live together. They fell in love and got married a year
later.
He used to describe her as a “free spirit”, someone who could do the
wildest thing on a whim. He loved her spontaneity and genuineness.
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Carla admired John’s brain and the way he made her laugh. She felt
safe with him and believed he was very dependable. In the beginning
of their relationship they got along really well and were very happy.
The first time they both started feeling that the relationship was not
working well was after the birth of their first child. Initially, both
wanted to have a baby and both were thrilled when their first daughter,
Charlotte, was born. However, in the months following the birth they
started arguing a lot about small things. Soon after, they started
blaming one another for various things. Carla blamed John for not
taking on a fair share of the baby’s care and house chores, and John
blamed Carla for criticizing him and for always nagging him about
“stupid little things”. Things had gotten so bad that they started
thinking about separating. However, they still wanted to give it a try
and in an attempt to mend things, they went away on a holiday, only to
discover a couple of weeks after their return that Carla was pregnant
again. At first they were both overwhelmed by the news, but then they
talked it through and agreed that it had probably been a sign that they
should stick together and raise their family. The next few months went
fairly well. Carla felt that John was taking care of her and making sure
she was comfortable and safe. Carla was mostly in a good mood and
tried to minimize her requests from John. Things were looking up.
However, shortly after the birth of their son, Sean, they started fighting
again. The tension in the house was getting worse every day. They
were both very tired and drained. Carla was feeling overwhelmed with
taking care of two children and she felt abandoned by John. She
started begging him to come home early, or not to go to work at all.
For his part, John was working more hours than ever. He often missed
dinner and when he did not, he would often say he was exhausted and
go to bed immediately after dinner. The bitterness and anger in the
relationship grew more and more until John told Carla one day that he
had rented an apartment, and was moving out. Carla was devastated.
Even though she was very unhappy in the relationship,
she did not expect that John would leave her especially, as an
immigrant, she had made sacrifices. She was desperate and begged
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him to reconsider. They came to therapy as a “last resort”.
In therapy, it became clear that both Carla and John were not taking
care of their own needs. They were both exhausted and were feeling
completely tied down. Neither of them, especially Susan, was getting
any breathers. One of the first things that Carla and John learned in
therapy was to give each other some space and enable each other to
take care of themselves. They have worked out a plan whereby each of
them gets some time for themselves, 3 times a week. After 3 sessions,
the fighting has diminished but the couple was still feeling alienated
from one another.
In the next few sessions, we uncovered Carla and John’s cycle. It
looked somewhat like this: Carla or John would make a comment
about the kids, the house or a chore that needed to be done. The
partner would react to it resentfully and would make a nasty remark.
John would tend to withdraw and avoid Carla by going to bed or
taking off. Carla would get irritated and pursue John, wanting to settle
the matter on the spot. John would withdraw even further and would
not speak to Susan, sometimes for days. At some point Carla would
withdraw as well and they would not speak to each other for a few
days, until one of them would mention something trivial to the other
and they would start talking again.
In therapy, Carla and John were able to identify their insecurities
about the relationship. Susan’s pursuit of John was motivated by her
fear of abandonment; she feared he would leave her and was worried
that if they did not resolve their differences immediately, he would
leave. Each time John left the room or the house she interpreted it as
him leaving her and would get even more desperate. John was
withdrawing and avoiding Carla because he could not take the
conflict. It was just “too much” for him. It meant that they were not
getting along and that indeed there would be no alternative but to split
up. John admitted that he dreaded a split up too. Carla and John
learned that both had deep feelings for each other, and that both
valued their relationship and wanted to stay together. Carla learned to
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give John some space and not pursue him when he was asking for a
time-out. John learned to give Carla a sign that meant that he was not
leaving her but just taking a time-out. With time, they also learned to
listen to each other in a way that validated each other’s feelings,
thoughts, hopes and wishes.