Part 1: I wanted to introduce an anecdote from when my grandpa was in the hospital battling
cancer when I was 8, and show how I witnessed that even when he had a short amount of time
left, he clinged on to a simple old journal which was his most valued possession as he loved
poetry. My younger self did not understand why it meant so much to him, and I wondered what it
was that I would hold onto if I knew i’m going to die soon.
Part 2: Fast forwarding to 2020. I talked about the California wildfires because I live very close
to them and we had to evacuate. In that time, I was forced to pack my belongings and I talked
about what I picked and what emotional value the items had.see below I wanted to explain
the story behind each, and how that story makes me who I am or contributed to my character. I
want to subtly explain some of my achievements and contributions to society.
Part 3: In conclusion, I want to wrap it with my insight from the experience. I learned that
everyone sees life with a different set of eyes, and we all interpret experiences (represented by
objects) in different ways. Also, I want to incorporate the idea that sometimes we realize who we
truly are in high stress moments. I want to somehow subtly mention that although I am on the
journey to find my passion which I chose to fight with my life for, I take value in the values that
define my character and I want those to guide me.
***My 3 objects I want to incorporate & what they mean:
- Camera (demonstrates my adventuring, open mindedness, ability to try new things
through camera elements). The camera has seen me grow from a girl who used to be in
her comfort zone, to someone who sees every new place as an opportunity to capture
shots. I do it to show people through my instagram page how i perceive the world. - A cheap basketball medal (demonstrates my humble nature; humility). I had a basketball
coach who passed away from cancer many years ago. I used to get frustrated when I
would do badly in a game, and besides just basketball skills, my coach would personally
talk to me about sportsmanship. He would tell me how in a competition, the real
challenge is yourself, not the opponent. This helped me beyond just basketball games
as it helped me to stay true to myself, and not compare myself to others. The medal was
from the last tournament that was coached by him before he passed away. - A ribbon pin that represents cancer (represents community, and how I value close
relationships). The pin was from my first Relay for Life event (an event that honors
cancer survivors). There is a luminaria ceremony where cancer patients share their
story. Through the story, I felt so close to every single person (even though i didn’t know
them) there because of the many people in my life that have been through cancer. It was
through that cause I met some of my closest friends, and I furthered my commitment to
being one of the event Leads that plans the event. I do it because I don’t want cancer to
affect people in the way it has affected me because nobody deserves to go through that.
Old Essay Draft
Below, I have a draft of this same essay which I started. Please rewrite it and try to change a lot
of the grammatical and structural errors, while keeping the essence of the story the same. Also,
it would be great if at the end of each paragraph about each item, you can very subtly tie it to
the bigger picture.
If possible, if you can add some humor that would be great. And a creative title as well. Thanks!
Please use my contact information if you have any questions.
Prompt: 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period
of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
I stood near my grandfather as he lay on what could have been his deathbed. Knowing
he may not be able to make it through yet another round of chemotherapy, he asked to bring
his journal that he seemed to be quite fond of. An eight year old me saw this as a strange
request. My Grandpa was battling hard and his body had almost given up, but there was this
unmistakable spark in his eyes as his trembling hands continued to pour his heart’s content onto
the pages. As the treatment started and the journal was taken away, he was forced to stop his
scribble. I witnessed the discomfort on his face as if his scribble was keeping him away from the
battle his body was going through. As a child, I never understood how someone could be so
attached to something, that they continue to pursue it even when their life was coming to an
end.
“Pack up, we have to leave soon!” My dad was frantically gathering valuables and
stuffing them into his backpack while my mother was busy tossing snacks in a large tote bag.
However, this was no family vacation. We had gotten an evacuation notice as the California
wildfires were just within a few miles from my house. I hurriedly gathered everything I could
possibly need- first aid kit, electronics, and school books – all in the two hours we had left to
leave.
I scoured my room looking at every inch before I left, constantly making sure I hadn’t left
anything important. I caught sight of the camera sitting on my shelf. The object which
transformed me from the shy girl who would sit quietly in the back of class, to the person who
would jump at the chance of a new adventure, excited to shoot a new picture through a unique
combination of angles, lighting, and exposure. How could I leave behind an object that has been
with me ever since the start of my journey to find beauty in the most mundane things?
My hand reached out to pick the medal with a small traditional dancer and the words “1st
place” engraved in it. This brought me back to the memory of my dance coach, who taught me
the beauty of competition: that there is nobody else competing besides yourself. Though she
passed away due to a brain tumor, the simple piece of copper made me feel her presence
inside of me.
(incomplete: this is where i talk about the pin from Relay for Life)
Each one of us experiences life in a different way. All of our most valued possessions
are put into life and given priceless value by our own experiences and memories. For my
grandpa, his greatest pleasure in life was writing down the unique way that he experienced life,
gathering every feeling from his senses and using beautiful language to transfer it into a story.
His journal for him was the way he perceived the world around him, something which would
have been utterly useless to me as my cherished possessions would be to someone else.