The following scenario has questions interspersed throughout the material for ease of reading and review.
Maria Thomas lost her 36-year-old son to death two years ago. This is her experience of going through the grieving process.
Maria’s son David was recently married for his first time and was very happy. This was a great source of comfort to Maria. She also gained a grandson from the union. David became ill with bronchitis which quickly progressed to pneumonia. Although he received medical care, he kept getting weaker over the next few days after finishing antibiotic treatment. He went to the emergency department because he was having trouble breathing. The ED physician diagnosed him with COVID-19 and admitted him to the intensive care unit. The nursing staff and doctor provided excellent, kind care to David. At times Maria believed David was improving. Since Maria had been inoculated for COVID, the staff allowed her to put on personal protective equipment (PPE) and stay at David’s bedside. His wife was outside the room but could see him. She had not had her COVID shots. After 10 days of intense treatment David passed away with his mother at his side. Maria was devastated. Over the next couple of days she told her family, “I can’t believe that he’s gone, it seems so unreal to me.”
1. Which stage of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stage of grieving is Maria experiencing?
2. Define this stage of grief.
Maria became inconsolable, crying all throughout the day. She had been prone to depression and anxiety before her son’s death, but it seemed worse now. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t just “get over it” and feel better.
3. Which stage of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stage of grieving is Maria experiencing?
4. Define this stage of grief.
Maria still had David’s voice on her cell phone messages. She also had photos and a movie of him laughing. She played these over and over so that she could hear his voice again. Sometimes she thought she saw him or evidence that he was still near. She thought he would rustle a curtain or a piece of paper showing that his spirit lingered, giving her more time with him. She was glad to know that he wasn’t really gone. She believed he was helping her get through the loss.
5. Which stage of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stage of grieving is Maria experiencing?
6. Define this stage of grief.
A few days after David died, Maria’s other son confessed what David had confided in him. David had received the COVID immunization about a month prior to his death. Maria was livid. “Why did he do that? I think that’s what caused his death!” Maria said that David’s doctor kept telling him to get it because he was severely overweight and felt that getting COVID itself would be bad for David. “I wish David wouldn’t have done it! He knows the side effects of those shots! Why didn’t he ask me first – I would have warned him! And why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
7. Which stage of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stage of grieving is Maria experiencing?
8. Define this stage of grief.
David’s funeral seemed to provide some closure for his wife and son, although they missed him terribly. Maria went to visit them often to provide comfort. But often they ended up trying to comfort her instead. Maria continued to cry most of each day. She said, “I don’t understand why this happened, he was so young and had just begun his life with his wife and son.” She would often call family members and cry. She would say, “I still can’t believe it’s real. He’s not really gone. I can’t accept it.” This went on for months after David’s death.
9. Which important stage of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stage of grieving has Maria not yet experienced?